


• Shame •

by ShesGoneRogue



Series: Take Me Back to Crema [4]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Charmie - Fandom
Genre: Adultery, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Here be angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 13:52:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15511287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShesGoneRogue/pseuds/ShesGoneRogue
Summary: Armie is....just a mess, but Tim knows what he needs.





	• Shame •

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure - this one has been in the works for a long, looong time (Oscars/ Texas Film Awards) and it's super angsty (for me at least) - and if you've been reading me for a while, then you know I don't really Do angst...so that being said - I just can't keep tweaking this one. I debated for the longest time whether or not to even publish it, but I put a lot into it, so I'm offering it as is, unbeta'd and decidedly unpolished - shifty pov's and everything. It's a hot mess, y'all.

He'd waited to be called, pacing the length of his suite knowing that Tim was annoyed...Elizabeth was annoyed...both of their PR teams were annoyed. He honestly couldn't give a fuck about most of them, but knowing that T was disappointed in him weighed heavy and sharp in his chest.

"You couldn't have been any more obvious."

"I know. I know...I'm sorry." Armie shuffles his feet and furrows his brow at the laces of his shoes. He can't meet Tim's eyes right now. He knows he's a mess, but he's really been trying.

They'd both been warned multiple times to lay off it...especially Armie. Too many comments on Tim's social media. Too many loaded glances. He'd tried to do some damage control. Ignore Tim's posts. Gush over Elizabeth's like the supportive, doting husband he _should_ be....but in the end seeing him stand out like a fucking angel among mortals in that damn white tux on the red carpet was more than he could bear. He hadn't been able to tear his gaze off of him and the entire world had felt the full brunt of his thirst. He visibly cringes as the embarrassing memory of Elizabeth pushing him down the carpet and away from Tim flashes through his thoughts.

Tim catches it and pulls him back into the moment with a soft 'hey'.

Armie finally looks up, blinking back the sting in his eyes.

"Come here."

They had been facing each other from opposite walls in the narrow vestibule of Tim's hotel room, Armie keeping his distance, shoulders slumped, hands pressed to the wall behind his ass, like a prisoner awaiting his sentence.

Armie swallows hard and shuffles forward, lowering his gaze again.

Tim had this way of making him feel...small. Vulnerable. It had happened so gradually that he honestly couldn't remember when it had started. He was 6'5, 220 lbs of cool, collected self confidence in almost any given situation...except when in the presence of this wisp of a boy. He stops in front of him but doesn't make a move to touch him.

"On your knees." It's spoken softly, but it may as well be the crack of a whip.

Armie lowers his head even more as he slowly settles his bulk into a penitent kneel. The silence stretches and he starts to shake, holding his breath without even realizing it until it escapes in a shuddery whoosh as Tim's fingers gently stroke through his hair. Before he knows it, he's leaning forward and pressing his face into Tim's flat belly, stifling a sob, his long arms wrapped around his narrow waist, holding on for dear life.

"Shhhh...."

"I'm sorry. I tried. I really tried."

"I know, baby. I know. "

Tim continues stroking his hair until the worst has subsided and Armie looks up at him with red rimmed eyes.

"I can't do this, T. How am I supposed to do this?"

Tim tilts his head and smiles down at him as his thumb smudges the tears from beneath one eye. "It's almost over. Japan is canceled. We just have to make it through Austin and then we won't have to do this anymore."

"But then what?" Armie asks shakily. "I can't go back to the way things were before. I can't do it, T. When I think about this being over I can't fucking breathe, and when they tell me not to touch you I —" He shoves his face back into Tim's middle, squeezing him with all his strength as sobs wrack his body.

"Armie...hey. Shhhh. I'm here. You can touch me now. It's just us." Tim's fingers dig into his hair harder, trying to pull him back from the edge.

Armie slowly relaxes his grip, taking deep gulps of air as Tim's fingers and voice soothe him. When he's finally able to draw a steady breath, he sits back on his heels and scrubs at his face. He's embarrassed...and oddly relieved. The emotional toll of the last year has finally broken him, and though he never intended Tim to see him like this, it feels as if a weight has been lifted.

Tim knows now. He knows the depth of the fear that Armie has been carrying with him these last few weeks and he's not running from him. He's not shunning him for his lack of self control. Armie's eyes slowly move up from where they've been resting on Tim's bare feet. His throat tightens, heart racing.

Tim is _hard_ , and he's not even trying to hide it.

Armie blinks up at him, brows raised in question.

Tim grins and shrugs. "What can I say? Having you on your knees saying you can't live without me gets me hard." He licks his lips as a wicked little gleam darkens his eyes. The smile hardens a little, replaced by something a bit more demanding as he slowly unbuttons his shirt and leans back against the wall. With no more than a nod and a nudge of his hips, Tim makes it clear what's expected of Armie now.

Armie swallows back a needy mewl as he reaches for Tim's zipper without hesitation. He's been craving this for days now and denied even the hope that they would get to have a moment like this again before they got pulled in separate directions for the next week. His eyes are wild, tongue darting out to wet his lips even before he's managed to free him.

"Slowly." It's an order that shoots straight straight to the base of Armie's spine.

Armie looks up with wretched acquiescence from his fingers busily working to unfasten Tim's jeans.

"Slow and soft until I say otherwise. Make it good."

Tim's voice has gone deeper and Armie suddenly can't find his own so he just nods in answer. He leans forward, eyes heavy with lust as the scent of Tim's arousal makes his head swim. The heat of his shaft is comforting in his hand...the weight of it solid and promising. Armie opens his mouth and licks delicately, his tongue flicking out and teasing just how he knows Tim likes it. He can't stop the shuddery whimper that escapes him after the first taste in far too long.

"Yeah...just like that. Tease me." Tim whispers, lip curled slightly, his hands hanging at sides. No comforting touch - that's not what Armie needs right now. He needs direction. Control.

Armie moans quietly, the seam of his jeans binding him uncomfortably as he shifts his hips and moves closer. This is his penance. He will deny himself. He will kneel here and submit to the pain for as long as it takes to make Tim understand the depth of his devotion....his acute, _painful_ need for him.

Tim watches the tension slowly ease from Armie's shoulders as he loses himself in kisses and soft licks. He slowly moves one hand to the side of Armie's face, fingers gently brushing at the thick stubble. "Look at me, Armie." he whispers.

Armie opens his eyes and nearly melts at the look in Tim's.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes." he whispers tremulously over his flushed, wet head.

"Then show me..."

Armie nuzzles his cheek against Tim's shaft, kissing his way down to the root and opening wide to suck at the velvety skin of his sack.

Tim moans and drops his head back, both hands now tightening around the sides of Armie's face. "Yeah. Yeah, that's good. I know what you need....suck my cock, baby." he groans softly, pulling him back and up to his head again. Tim looks down and watches with an open mouth as his dick slides between Armie's lips. He pushes in and drags out slowly, his hands always in control of Armie's movements. Long minutes pass with nothing but the sounds of Tim's shuddery breathing and the wet noises of Armie's mouth.

A soft hum deep in his chest...then, "I wanna fuck you. I want to send you back to Elizabeth with my cum dripping down your thighs. I want you to smell me on your skin when you fly home tomorrow. Feel me again every time you hit turbulence."

Armie whimpers and squirms, instinctively sucking harder.

" _Fuck_ \- easy." Tim hisses a sharp breath between clenched teeth. "Don't make me cum. You want it? You want me to fuck you?"

Armie nods as much as he can, his hips twitching, the seam of his too tight jeans biting into him.

Tim grabs a handful of hair and slowly pulls him off, his cock twitching in protest at the loss of Armie's sucking heat.

Armie flicks his tongue out and breaks the string of spit still connecting them.

"Tim...please." Armie begs as Tim turns away.

"Get up. Get undressed." Tim says over his shoulder, already walking deeper into the room and stripping his own clothes off.

Armie follows eagerly, relieved to finally unzip himself and release some of the painful tension from chafing denim.

"Go to the window." Tim says from the middle of the room, jeans and shirt discarded at his feet, one hand wrapped around his cock...stroking, stroking.

Armie stops mid motion, his pants only halfway down his thighs, a look of uncertainty crossing his face.

"Problem?" Timmy tilts his head, "Last night you didn't care if the world saw what you wanted. Now's your chance."

Armie bites his lip and quickly finishes undressing before moving to the window. The curtains are wide open, and though they're on the fifth floor he feels completely exposed to anyone who cares to look up from the street below. His erection starts to flag as he waits for more instructions, shaking and terrified of the repercussions if a photographer catches him standing there naked and aroused for all the world to see. He closes his eyes and steels his nerves. _You deserves this_.

A soft click sounds behind him and the red of his closed eyelids turns black. Relief washes over him.

The room is in almost total darkness now....the only light coming in from the street and making the glass opaque from the outside.

"You didn't really think I would do that to you, did you?" Tim asks with a mischievous smirk evident in his tone.

Armie can't help but laugh a little, his already frayed nerves thrumming with adrenaline at the potential fallout scenes going through his head. "I deserved it. I'm not exactly making things easy for us, am I?"

"No...no, you're not..." a soft palm on his back "...but no one ever said this would be easy."

"What? No one ever said what wouldn't be easy?"  
He knows, but he needs to hear it.

"Us. _This_." His hand slides lower, pushing Armie forward to lean on the windowsill.

"Do you still love me, T?" his voice breaks, fading to a whisper.

He feels Tim's hand stop. Warm breath soft at his shoulder.

"Of course I love you, Armie. I wouldn't be here if I didn't...if I didn't think this was worth the risk." He answers with a tender kiss to his shoulder blade.

Armie sighs and relaxes under his touch.

"Spread your legs for me....we don't have much time."

Armie shudders at the kiss, the softly spoken command.

"Tim—"

"Shh-- no more." The soft snick of a bottle cap.

His eyes drift closed, wet lashes sticking together as Tim's slick fingers slide down his crack. He sighs with relief. His Tim, ever ready and willing to give him what he needs.

"Make it rough. Please. I don't - I need—"

A harsh smack lands on his left cheek making him jump.

"Am I going to have to gag you?" it's playful, but there's a definite edge to it.

Armie arches his back and hisses quietly at the first push - two fingers silencing him more effectively than the smack - the burn is already delicious.

"So goddamn needy. Fuck, Armie...you're already so wet. What have you done?"

Armie's cheeks heat up and he drops his head low as he tries to push back harder onto Tim's thin fingers. "I thought...I thought that if I took the edge off last night before the red carpet I could -- I could keep my distance."

"Yeah? And we both saw how well that worked out, didn't we?"

Armie laughs softly. "What can I say? I tried."

Tim drags his fingers out and leans over him, the tip of his cock now nudging the wet ring of his asshole.

"Tell me about it. What did you do?" his voice has gone even huskier.

Armie groans, his hips rocking, cock dripping between his thick thighs. He wants to reach for himself so badly, but he hasn't been given permission. "I brought a dildo— please, T..."

Timmy nudges in just a little. "And?"

"I waited till Liz went out shopping. Stuck it to the chair in the hotel room. Rode it. God, Tim - fuck me. _Please_."

Tim nudges just a tiny bit deeper with excruciating slowness. He's _so_ hard. "Did you cum?"

"Y-yes...but it took forever." Armie pants, distracted by the steady stretch and burn in his ass.

"And why did it take so long?"

"Because...because it wasn't you."

Armie is half crazy with need and Tim knows it.

"You need it bad, don't you? My cock. You need to hear my voice. Need to hear me tell you when to cum."

"Yes. _Fuck_. Please...make me cum, Tim. Make me cum on your cock."

Tim bites his lip and nudges in a little more, pulls back, dragging out the reward for his confession.

Armie's jaw drops, his asshole clenching and pulsing greedily, sucking him deeper until Tim finally snaps his hips for that last push and he's bottomed out.

"Look at the window. Look at yourself."

Armie drags his eyes up to his reflection in the glass. Sweaty forehead. Wild eyes. His mouth working in a silent 'o'. He's ashamed. So ashamed of how badly he _needs_ this. Ashamed of his lack of control. Ashamed of his fear of not ever having this again. He starts to cry. Tears streaking silently down his face.

Tim smooths his hands down his back.  
"Shhhh....we'll find a way. I promise. Look at me, Armie."

Armie looks into their reflection in the window again finding Tim's calm, steady gaze.

"I promise."

"I know...I'm —"

"No."

He closes his mouth and bites his tongue.

"No. More. Apologies."

Armie nods and keeps his gaze fixed on Tim's as he draws back slowly.

Tim changes his angle and grazes over Armie's prostate making him tense up and moan obscenely. His grin above Armie's reflection is nothing short of devious. "So sensitive tonight."

Armie drops his head and nods, his breath ragged and shallow.

"I didn't say you could look away."

Armie feels a tight squeeze on his hip accompany the words and raises his head obediently to meet Tim's eyes again.

"I want you to look at me when you cum. I deserve that."

Armie nods, biting back a soft cry when Tim snaps his hips to make his point.

"Does she do this for you?"

Rapid shake of the head, mouth falling open with a soft whine.

"Who do you belong to, Armie?"

He struggles for breath, the pace Tim is setting now making it hard for him to speak. "You, Tim."

"And when we're not together. Who do you belong to then?"

"You. Always you. I'm-- I'm yours. I'm all yours."

"Don't ever forget it, Armie." Tim's voice has changed now with the relentless pace he's been building. The rude slap of flesh on flesh is now punctuated with barely stifled groans of pleasure, both of them trying desperately not to get too loud for the thin hotel walls.

Armie can hear how close Tim is and it drives him right to the very edge. He bites his lip and struggles not to cry out and plead for mercy. He needs to touch. Needs to cum.

"Touch yourself."

His exhale of relief is so loud it's almost comical. He reaches between his legs and barely gets his fingers around the tip of his dick before he clenching his teeth and spilling all over the carpet at his feet. His knees tremble and threaten to buckle with every spasm.

Tim folds over his back and sinks his teeth into the tense muscles along Armie's spine to muffle his shout when his clenching pulls him over the edge with him.

"Tim— ohgodohfuck!" Armie bucks harder into his hand, the sensation of Tim's sharp teeth adding a mind blowing edge to his pleasure that sends him into overdrive.

Tim mouths at his skin, scraping his teeth over the bulging muscles in time with his own climax. His cries soften to little whimpers, all the strength and control he's worked so hard to maintain for Armie's sake melting in the heat of his pulsing body.

When he feels Tim relax against him, Armie reaches out with his messy hand to join his other still gripping the windowsill. He's shaky, weak, raw, but determined to hold up until Tim is ready to release him.

Tim kisses the bite marks he left on Armie's skin softly as he lets himself slip out. "Better now?"

Armie chokes back something between a laugh and a sob and lets out a shuddery sigh as Tim pulls back. "Yeah." He nods, wiping the tears off his face and sinking down to lay supine on the plush carpet.

Tim grabs his discarded shirt and tosses it to Armie to wipe off his hand as he settles in beside him, draping one arm and leg over his shivering body, his cheek pressing into the damp curls on his chest.

They lay quietly for a moment, listening to the sounds of the city outside and the noises from the hallway.

"You know I'm not going anywhere, right? We can make this work." Tim says softly, his fingers lazily stroking through Armie's chest hair. He waits, and when Armie doesn't respond lifts up to look down at him.

Armie is staring up at the ceiling, the dim light from outside the window shimmering in his wet lashes.

"Armie."

He meets Tim's eyes reluctantly with a weak smile. "Yeah...yeah, I know."

 


End file.
